(Written April 20, 2017–still true)
It’s crazy how much joy it brings me to watch Ari learn new things. I’m sitting in the airport right now…wasting time cuz my travel time has been extended by 3 hours…and it was long to begin with. When I’m bored, I always look back at pictures and videos of Ari. I’ve seen them all a million times and they can still make me laugh and cry. It’s a little pathetic really. (Although in my defense, I haven’t seen him in 4 days and I have pregnancy hormones up the wazoo.)
The video of him learning to clap is the cutest thing ever–cuz duh, I’m his mom. But his concentration, his excitement at doing something we (his parents) are excited about and his little shoulder shrugs with his hands clasped together that I think he imagines is clapping is just all so so precious. So so precious. Do you think God thinks of us like that? When we’re pumped up and excited to do something that he’s shown us and we know he’ll take pleasure in? And our hands are missing each other and our shoulders are shrugging like crazy, but he sees and knows what we’re trying to do and takes joy? And laughs and says yes! You’re doing it! Keep going! I think so. There’s a reason that God calls us his children in Bible. It’s one of many human relationships that He uses to help describe how he relates to us and how He loves us. As an adult it often feels like we should have all of our ish together. Like we aren’t allowed to fail or demonstrate that we are less than totally competent at something. I’m so thankful for a God that just asks for me–regardless of what I am capable of. A God that takes joy in my efforts to emulate Him and bring Him joy even if I don’t always succeed. Just typing it makes me feel like Ari; I want to smile and laugh and just keep trying to clap.
You guys, I love my little AriBug so much. It’s crazy. I think he’s the most precious, cutest, smartest little boy. I use to resent doing anything that was typical “mom”. (And if I’m honest, I probably still do.) But now when I exclaim over his crawling technique or how cute his 4-tooth-smile is and someone tells me I’m “such a mom”. I’ll take it. I want to love my Bean unconditionally. And hopefully he can help teach me what it looks like to love other people unconditionally too.
Ari at 8 months (Clapping learning age)